Death is around the corner, down the block, and across the street. We tend to gain strength from picturing darkness while we are still alive. While we breathe death isn’t the reality. Life is! Take a deep breath. Do you feel your lungs filling up? That’s the air of your chance at creating a great legacy before your picture goes blank. Death will occur but it isn’t your fate at this moment, so be momentous. Set the stage while you continue to have pages to write. Be the best you can before the light dims and you are forced to live in darkness….
I looked in the crowd from a lonely stage. They sat their waiting to decide if I am great enough for them to put their hands together. Somehow I care about what these strangers think. My palms are sweaty, heart beating against my rib cage, and my mouth is dry. I take a sip of water before I approach the mic. I don’t picture anyone naked because I don’t have that great of an imagination. I choose not to focus on that beautiful woman smiling in the front row. Instead I find the old man crossing his legs waiting for me to be just another act. We catch I contact and I start to speak to him. I watch the angry creases soften in his face. I smile! He knows I caught him enjoying himself so he sits upright in his chair. He doesn’t realize I am just going to take credit for correcting his posture. I continue! I watch his chest now beating the same pace as mine. Mine has slowed and his has increased. We are forming a connection. I pause! He shows disappointment wanting me to continue. I start again! Sighing in relief his intrigue intensifies. My tone elevates. He jumps, his eyes widen, and he laughs at himself. My voice softens. Tears invade his pupils and attack his cheeks. I finish! He is the first one out his seat to applaud. He was a victim of inspiration….
As a young man, I laced up my gloves anytime someone made me angry enough to fight. Matter of fact, I solved “My” issues with words, but for the people I Loved or saw being bullied, I placed my fist on someone quick. I mean, I went to random blocks for beef. Blocks that could have gotten me killed. Yet, I walked up to groups of men and pressed the cat I had the issues with. I had no regard for consequences. I was more worried about meeting things head on. I was a fool but I thought I was invincible. Shit, I was ready to die for “peace of mind” in the streets. I knew I grew, when someone hit me in the face while playing ball in college and I continued to play ball. I knew I grow, when I challenged others to fight for themselves before I fought for them. I know I grew, When the white drunk boys dared me to whip their asses but I know I would go straight to jail without collecting 200 dollars. God was with me! I am now blessed to be known more for the information I provide the world than the pain I caused the world. Yet, I am not done giving back….
I placed my hands in the air and surrendered to every element in life I have no control over. But, you better believe the things I do have control of, I will be taking control of. Any wrongs I have done, I will make it right. Any right I have done, I will never allow people to tell me I was wrong without proof. Everybody in my circle will get everything I have to offer and anyone not in my circle I offer you clarity if needed. Anyone I don’t speak to, should understand why, and should understand I accepted we can’t coexist; but if we have to work together for a greater good I will be available. I am direct in my delivery and fair of heart. I prefer to be genuine than nice. I want truth over political correctness. I honor principles over emotions. I have fell in Love with Love and only want people in my personal life that mirror that faith. I have my hands in the air and will wrap arms around anyone strong enough to accept my embrace by embracing me back….
Woke up with thoughts running through my heart. My passion is always connected to my first waking moment. I pop out of bed; knowing the village I have, knowing the happiness of the life I created for myself, understanding I can stand still and Love surrounds me. Yet, I have the urge to open my mouth and challenge others to fight for pleasures I have acquired. So, I risk being tuned out, to reach one ear, that will accept joy and stability into their hearts….
I wish, I can be the desired urge. I wish, I can go to sleep and awake in the reality of the perfect dream. I wish, I could see a sea that isn’t waving bye but saying hello. Yet, I wouldn’t have to wish, if people weren’t more worried about being missed than being present. They stand halfway out the door, wanting to be in control of when they leave and when they stay. Committing to a person, but holding on to their prized possessions. Absent of heart, mind you, they want all heart. Depressed, they refuse to rest next to someone that will offer them more, yet, they choose to be less. Penis swallowed just to be iced. Wanting to spoon but theirs a fork in the road. Wasting every moment, saving themselves from living, because all they see is death. Fear gives so many false confidence, but if they were truly courageous, they would allow themselves to Love again!!!!
There is so much pain floating in my head, it’s hard to name it. It’s hard to put my finger on the exact person that caused it. Was it the people that raised me to be so free of heart, was it the several people that took that heart for granted, or was it me for believing I could be happy in a world that caters more to misery. I don’t know, but the pain continues to float around in my head. Yet, I smile, laugh, hug, and kiss the people I Love because without the pain in my head, I wouldn’t realize the Love in my heart, I would be too busy protecting myself from getting hurt. Now, that I realize, I can sustain the pain, I am no longer afraid to give all of myself….I am Love in the form of man. ~AmazinglyBrash~