My coworker and I were talking about depression. She thought wanting to be home, trapped off from the world was normal or rather a preference. I told her it is cool to want to be home for alone time or spend time with her family but trapping herself off from the world is a sign of depression. Never wanting to be home or waking up feeling like you have no purpose, are all signs of depression. She avoids rejection so much that she doesn’t try, she does something wrong to someone and fixates on the wrong over making it right, and she accepts losing and is afraid of winning. I asked her when was the last time she went to sleep and looked forward to the next day. She said her birthday (2/22) and I said it’s been over a month. I asked her to think about that. You hate going to work to rush back home to do it all over again. I told her she has to start living. She needs to participate in life; if she wants to sit at home she can find something that interest her on social media and have a discussion, she can ask a coworker she enjoys if they would like to hang out, and/or she can start discussions with people that are hard to talk about….I told her to live because depression makes a lot of people think they are alone but people do care and want you to care as well. The first brave step she took was allowing me to use our discussion to inform others that they are not alone….
As men we were raised that using our fists would protect everyone we Love. If we learned how to solve our problems but eliminating them, people will know better than to “FUCK WITH US”. Adulthood changes all that, We establish ourselves, we find a mate, we have children, and we build healthy positive friendships. We realize our fist will give us jail time and strip all of that away. We learn to fight for Love different. Instead of using our fists, we start using our heads. We try to resolve conflict with our brains over our brawn. We protect what we Love by always putting ourselves in a position to be present. God knows I have been tested, threatened, knowing I had the ability to hurt someone badly. Yet, I walked away and took one step closer to preserving my foundation. I showed my Loved ones that I Loved them more than my pride. As men we need to teach the next generation that being “A Man”, means thinking ahead and not giving into the moment. Violence will start a cycle of violence, leaving homes absent of MALE ROLE MODELS….
Pain isn’t cancer, Pain is a reward. It expresses what not to do, who not to be around, and what we need to overcome. It’s a journey, no more feeling sorry for yourself; release it. That relief won’t be in a drug, it will be in an ear that will use their voice to guide you to the pain killer; SOLUTION. Pain isn’t the enemy, it let’s you know when a doctor is needed, when a heart is broken, or when something is wrong. It helps us right ourselves, directing us to LOVE. Pain isn’t the disease. It’s the GPS that allows us to know we need to travel. So, don’t use pain as company, don’t allow it to trap you off from the rest of the world. Pain isn’t the destination, it’s reminds us we need help. So, Express that hurt today and Let someone in on your pain because no one should feel sorry for you because your pain just reminded you that you still have LIFE. So, stop telling people they don’t understand and explain yourself, you might actually realize being pain free starts will wanting to HEAL. Pain isn’t cancer, Pain it is a reward….
Social media isn’t the problem, the problem is how people use social media. I connected with old friends, met new ones, read things that gave me food for thought. I have spread a message, received messages, and watched videos that inspired me to be and do more. Yet, we blame social media because some people use this tool to bully, destroy relationships, and spread hate. When are we going to stop blaming the invention and make people accountable for their misuse of the invention….
People are more worried about judgment than they are doing the right thing. I am happy that I have people around me that will judge me for bad behavior. I enjoy having friends that will check me if I stay in a bad relationship, or if I complain about something I am not willing to change, or if I open my mouth without thinking. I don’t want “NICE” friends….I want “Genuine” friends. Yes, my friends influence my behavior because when I am slipping, I’m happy they would do anything necessary to stand me up straight!!!!
I know, it is hard to see someone that never tried with us, give their all to someone else. But, that’s why they are with someone else. Hoping their relationship fails isn’t going to build success in ours. We just need to search for our own happiness. We should put all those negative thoughts into a positive relationship for ourselves….and when we find that relationship, it will be clear that we only felt that way because we had too much time on our hands!!!!
When we speak, we want someone who will listen. When we Love, we want someone who will Love us back. When we justify being treated less or sit idled waiting for someone that has failed us over and over to give us more…. We are lessening our chance for happiness. We are forfeiting our right to life. Just because we breathe doesn’t mean we are living, just because we wake up doesn’t mean we are blessed. We must never settle for just breathing or just being alive, we must get the absolute best out of life, so we know we truly lived.